hello everyone merry christmas!!!
aha i'm terribly behind on my music thing but i promise i have at least 5 days stored up in my drafts! and i'll post it... one day hehe. hopefully before next year! ;P
I didn't really do much for christmas this year, just went to church-which i was horribly late for :( and then went to some christmas party before going home and slacking all the way. it feels good to not do anything LOL. I watched DH2!(again) awwwwwh yay my loveeee draco was as dashing as ever ;)haha i can memorise all his lines! which add up to like 7 so yeah :(
okok i forgot what i wanted to blog about earlier this morning! on a different note, i feel so bad that i didnt complete my music challenge thing. argh i think i was supposed to finish like on the 10ish of december or something.
oh yes i remember now. i remember this horrible feeling i had yesterday. or like early this morning. i dont think the worst feeling in the world is not getting what you wish for but it's not even knowing what you want. it's like you definitely want something but you just dont know what it is. and the worst thing is that it's not even a 'have zero idea' of what you want, it's when you have something in mind but don't know if you want it or not.
but then i woke up this morning and realised that that thing that i wanted didn't really matter to me anymore. there are more important things than that. we could stay as friends or become something more, the possibility of that doesn't bother me anymore and that's when you know you're truly over it but at the same time open to whatever is going to happen.
if someone else had written this and i'd stumbled across it, i'd be itching to ask them how it happened. but really, i can't say, it's just something that just happens. for me it's sort of an overnight thing. but it's hard to say since this only happened once. it took me a superrr long time to get over that and even now i'm not sure if i'm okay yet.
ughhh i want to like cry now because everything is so messed up. yes okay i like you, you're a nice person and all but i don't feel that way! it's just not the same, i don't know how to describe it. whyyyy ugh :( what should i do? :( you're the wrong person that i want to do that.
okay i realise that i'm being very angsty this christmas!! i'm sorry lovelies here's something to cheer you up!
have a lovely christmas everyone! <3
♥ always.
hazel
