Don't you want to change?

I hate crying but it seems like this time I can't help it. I woke up this morning with sore eyes and I think I still haven't learnt my lesson because I'm crying everytime I think of next year. I'm gonna end up blind someday from this crying, I swear.

I know in about 2 years' time I will look back on this point of time and laugh it off, asking myself why I over reacted so much. The same way I look back 2 years ago and ask myself why I didn't cry when we left. I don't know why this is such a big deal to me but it is. I can't seem to get over it. I went to sleep last night thinking that when I woke up in the morning everything would be back to normal and such but the truth is that it's more real than ever and I'm gonna have to face up to it sometime.

Just not today please?

I feel ungrateful. I got the choice I wanted but I'm still unhappy. They say that if you prepare yourself for your disappointments you won't be that much let down but all that's just crap. I've been preparing myself for this since the start of this year and see where I am now? All along I knew this would be coming but somehow or other I thought I could escape it and everything would be alright.

Somehow when people say 'I've seen better' it makes me wonder whether they've truly seen better or maybe they're just jealous.

I've always been a supporter of the saying 'Ignorance is bliss' because it never lets me down. I wish you could tell me straight up whether you guys are together or not. But then at other times I realise I don't really care.

I'm going to school for two training camps that overlap each other. Cool right? I'll be back on Halloween, kids.

"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."

♥hazel