All I wanted was you.

If you knew how much I want to be you, you'd think I'm a stalker, or at least insane.

I will probably regret saying this if I do actually get to be you, but I know it won't happen so I'm gonna go ahead and say it anyway. No matter what imperfections you have in your life, or whatever you're going through at this point of time, I don't care. I just want to be you for that special link you have with someone.

I'm done with my selfish paragraph for today. I don't care what you think of me, because if you're reading this, there won't ever be a chance for you to talk to me about it, but if there is, I'll just brush it off. We're all humans and at one point or other in our lives have been selfish right? I don't believe you if you say you haven't.

Let's jump to the other side of the glass for a moment. A part of me is saying it's time I let you go, after 1-2 years. But a bigger part of me is saying to hold on tight and never let go, no matter what may happen.

There's no point being jealous, that's what I think right now. It's not like I can do anything about it right? I wish there was a book that told me exactly how to be like her, what to say and how to act. I can't just wiki this, it's way more complicated than that. I wish I knew you better. I wish I could start all over again 2 years ago where I swear to myself that i won't mess things up and i'll be exactly like her, like the girl you know now.

I really really want to know how you guys got that way, but it's not jealousy, I swear, because you're like that with every random girl except me. I just want to know how this whole thing works. Sometimes it seems like there are rules that I make up myself that don't actually apply to the situation and even go against the actual 'rules' that they have. I'd really like to have a heart to heart with this 'they' so that they can run through the rules and regulations with me and I won't be left out of the loop. And I promise, this once, that I won't scroll through and click 'I Agree' without understanding every single term.

I'm sure this doesn't make any sense but at least it once did to me.

It's just so unfair how you have everything I'm dreaming of and you don't even want it.

I guess i'm gonn' have to be satisfied with what I have, even though it doesn't really seem like I have it.

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♥ hazel