If you love me, if you hate me.

Okay so I have quite a bit of things to say here but don't worry, we'll get there.

I just came back from church camp a couple days ago and I have to say it was really different from what I was expecting. It really changed my perspective of God and I really appreciate Him for letting me be in his presence. I would turn back time without a doubt and go back and relive those 3-4 days again. There's two things I miss about camp: the super fixed routine and the worship. Worship was really amazing and I'll never forget it. And what I loved most was the last day where my camp group didn't sleep at all and stayed up together in one of the function rooms talking and playing.

There are some other darker things that I went through in the duration of those 4 days that I won't mention here but all I can say is that I'm very thankful for the support of my group and closer friends and most of all God. Without them all I would never have been able to pull through. If someone had described to me fully what was gonna happen to me at camp before I would never have actually believed them, but the more important thing is that now I do.

I thought you guys were real, but after camp ended I really saw your true colours. I don't know what I did to make you guys react in that way but all I can say is that I'm sorry I gave you my all in those short 3 days. I don't see why it had to end that way but I'm not really bothered by it, because now all we'll ever be is very very short acquaintances, and I'm not really gonna see you any time soon. And even if I do, I don't have to pretend everything's alright more than you guys do. I just have one question to ask you: did you forget how I was there for you when one of those darker things happened? I guess you did.

I kind of think I should shift my target now to slightly older guys. But if this is like what happened last year I'll be over him in a few months so let's wait and see.

Alriiight. I think we're done with the serious stuff. I just wanted to write them down here so I feel like my thoughts are real.

I'm currently trying to upload our cover but it's not working. I tried so many times on FB but when there's like an hour or so left it just stops loading. So now I'm trying youtube in the hope that it'll be faster but right now it's telling me 243 mins are remaining. Alright youtube seems to be faster, I'm a happy girl ^^

I just wish I could remember how it was like when we hugged.

About 30 secs or so of What The Hell sort of leaked and I think it's really amazing. Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wz20KVWTsR0

Ohhh I'm thinking what the hell
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me,
You can save me any baby.
All my life I've been good, but now
Whoaaa what the hell
What, what, what, what the hell?

So good. :) Can't wait for New Year's Eve.

♥hazel.