Here we go.

I don't know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me head first, fearless.

It's the last day of 2010 and I won't lie, I'm definitely gonna miss it so much. I hate changes so much and I'll try to fight them as much as I can but in this case I can't.

I'm so thankful for all my friends. Following this I'll write a short paragraph to each of you, but it'll be anonymous so don't worry :)

Hey, I'll Really miss the both of You next year. We've had some incredible moments this year that I'll never ever forget. You guys have also shown me that even though someone else that we're really close to is in a different class, we can still be as close as ever. I love the stupid things we do and you'll always be in my heart. In this moment now, capture it, remember it.

I really admire you. You're in a different class from the three of us and yet you're really strong on the outside. I feel selfish for never actually considering how you felt being separated but now that it's happening to me I start to think. Thank you for being so wonderful this year and I've always considered you as one of my best friends. Just stay healthy and happy!

I know we're not as cloSe as we used to be last time. But I miss the old you. I really do. I don't know when you started to change but when I noticed it it was already too late. I really wish someone recorded our relationship with a video camera so I could define the exact point of time when you started changing. Nevertheless, I wanna wish you the best of luck for next year.

You're so noisy that I'll miss the noise next year. I never thought I'd say this but yeah. Your passion for Japanese music/Japan is reall intense and I have to say I've never really met someone with a passion that strong and one that lasts that long! We're alike in some ways, so maybe that's why we get along. :)

Thank you for all youR support during camp! I would never have been able to make it through without you. Thanks for being an awesome church friend and I really appreciate you! I love our chats which are really random so yeah. Hope you have a great 2011! :)

I really think you're a great guy. It's Just that right now I'm being shown so many other guys that can be wayyyy better than you but I don't know why I still want you. I'm really confused because all we're giving out is mixed signals that neither of us understand. I'll just let things work out by themselves. I want to let you go but I can't. I don't know when the breaking point is but I hope it'll come soon. Meanwhile, I'll watch you from a distance okay? Just stay yourself.

I miss you. No, scratch that. I miss the things we used to do together and taLk about but I don't miss you. I don't know how this started to turn sour but I kinda wish it hadn't. Don't forget that you owe me bigtime for your boyfriend. If you wish you hadn't known me it's like wishing you don't have your boyfriend so think carefully. Good luck for next year, although you're so damn lucky and privileged that you don't need it.

Dear 2011: please be better and acomplish all the things 2010 didn't.

It's funny how much can happen in a year. Stay tuned to next year.

♥ hazel.

So close.

Ok so um... I finally finally found out how much 4 years can contribute to someone. By that I mean like socially and not like physically or whatever. I don't wanna dwell too much on that topic so let's move on.

I could definitely say today was amazing. Met the penguins aka Hosea at 11plus at some bubble tea shop in the MRT which I took ages to find and we went to eat at the foodcourt againnn. Following that we got tix for Gulliver's Travels and proceeded to Ben and Jerry's to spend our $15 voucher we won for coming in second. And then we played Polar Bear ^^ In Ben and Jerry's? Yeahhh. Then we went into the movie theatre and yeah. After the movie it was pretty much just walking around and talking.

I guess I pretty much blanked on description above. I'm gonna have to do better if I want to be in CAP but all of a sudden I don't feel like writing 10 samples and explaining why I wrote them. That's like carving my heart out and giving it to total strangers to dissect. At least here no one's gonna throw my words back in my face and ask me why I wrote them.

Upcoming this week: dry run for sec 1 camp for Wednesday and Thursday, then.. watchnight on Friday I guess. I don't know if my YSG's going but I don't think so. We're not really that close even though we're kind of supposed to be but maybe that's just me? And then it's 2011. Time passes so fast, but I guess good things have to end for more good things to happen. Like a download of WTH on January 1st, and Goodbye Lullaby March 8th.

I just saw the timetable and at a glance it seems like I could cope pretty well. I'm in one of my moods where I think next year's gonna be completely fine and maybe even fun. It just usually wears off after a while.

I suddenly think back to this time last year when I was at church camp and really worried about sec 2. Some of the girls in my group who were sec 2s told me it was really nothing, despite it being streaming year and all. Fast forward to 2010. Back then I thought they were lying but now when my sec 1 friend asks about sec 2, I say the exact same thing to her. It makes me wonder if sec 3's gonna be the same. It has the exact same factor- it being the year just before the O's. So maybe when I get to the end of sec 4 I'm gonna be saying that the O's was really nothing.

Why are you so hard to let go of when you're not even mine?

I'll remember 19th of December 2010 even if you don't.

♥ hazel.

All I wanted was you.

If you knew how much I want to be you, you'd think I'm a stalker, or at least insane.

I will probably regret saying this if I do actually get to be you, but I know it won't happen so I'm gonna go ahead and say it anyway. No matter what imperfections you have in your life, or whatever you're going through at this point of time, I don't care. I just want to be you for that special link you have with someone.

I'm done with my selfish paragraph for today. I don't care what you think of me, because if you're reading this, there won't ever be a chance for you to talk to me about it, but if there is, I'll just brush it off. We're all humans and at one point or other in our lives have been selfish right? I don't believe you if you say you haven't.

Let's jump to the other side of the glass for a moment. A part of me is saying it's time I let you go, after 1-2 years. But a bigger part of me is saying to hold on tight and never let go, no matter what may happen.

There's no point being jealous, that's what I think right now. It's not like I can do anything about it right? I wish there was a book that told me exactly how to be like her, what to say and how to act. I can't just wiki this, it's way more complicated than that. I wish I knew you better. I wish I could start all over again 2 years ago where I swear to myself that i won't mess things up and i'll be exactly like her, like the girl you know now.

I really really want to know how you guys got that way, but it's not jealousy, I swear, because you're like that with every random girl except me. I just want to know how this whole thing works. Sometimes it seems like there are rules that I make up myself that don't actually apply to the situation and even go against the actual 'rules' that they have. I'd really like to have a heart to heart with this 'they' so that they can run through the rules and regulations with me and I won't be left out of the loop. And I promise, this once, that I won't scroll through and click 'I Agree' without understanding every single term.

I'm sure this doesn't make any sense but at least it once did to me.

It's just so unfair how you have everything I'm dreaming of and you don't even want it.

I guess i'm gonn' have to be satisfied with what I have, even though it doesn't really seem like I have it.

Did you notice my little Christmas colouring? Cool right? We're getting EVEN closer to Christmas right now so check this out!!! www.merryswiftmas.com I promise it's not spam :)

♥ hazel

If you love me, if you hate me.

Okay so I have quite a bit of things to say here but don't worry, we'll get there.

I just came back from church camp a couple days ago and I have to say it was really different from what I was expecting. It really changed my perspective of God and I really appreciate Him for letting me be in his presence. I would turn back time without a doubt and go back and relive those 3-4 days again. There's two things I miss about camp: the super fixed routine and the worship. Worship was really amazing and I'll never forget it. And what I loved most was the last day where my camp group didn't sleep at all and stayed up together in one of the function rooms talking and playing.

There are some other darker things that I went through in the duration of those 4 days that I won't mention here but all I can say is that I'm very thankful for the support of my group and closer friends and most of all God. Without them all I would never have been able to pull through. If someone had described to me fully what was gonna happen to me at camp before I would never have actually believed them, but the more important thing is that now I do.

I thought you guys were real, but after camp ended I really saw your true colours. I don't know what I did to make you guys react in that way but all I can say is that I'm sorry I gave you my all in those short 3 days. I don't see why it had to end that way but I'm not really bothered by it, because now all we'll ever be is very very short acquaintances, and I'm not really gonna see you any time soon. And even if I do, I don't have to pretend everything's alright more than you guys do. I just have one question to ask you: did you forget how I was there for you when one of those darker things happened? I guess you did.

I kind of think I should shift my target now to slightly older guys. But if this is like what happened last year I'll be over him in a few months so let's wait and see.

Alriiight. I think we're done with the serious stuff. I just wanted to write them down here so I feel like my thoughts are real.

I'm currently trying to upload our cover but it's not working. I tried so many times on FB but when there's like an hour or so left it just stops loading. So now I'm trying youtube in the hope that it'll be faster but right now it's telling me 243 mins are remaining. Alright youtube seems to be faster, I'm a happy girl ^^

I just wish I could remember how it was like when we hugged.

About 30 secs or so of What The Hell sort of leaked and I think it's really amazing. Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wz20KVWTsR0

Ohhh I'm thinking what the hell
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me,
You can save me any baby.
All my life I've been good, but now
Whoaaa what the hell
What, what, what, what the hell?

So good. :) Can't wait for New Year's Eve.

♥hazel.

Meow.

Um YES. I'm back this soon. Twitter is going insane apparently because Bieber is coming to Singapore. And I had to retype his last name 3 times because my keyboard wouldn't allow me to type it. JK. I'm starting to think he voiced Ash in pokemon in the later series just because their voices are so raspy.

And uhhh. I feel kind of lost today somehow.

I can't believe Bieber's coming to Singapore!!! And okay I'm freaking out too but for a whole different reason. I thought he'd be one of those singers whom you hear about all the time but never get to see live. Lol I'm a sadist in my own way. I kind of wish he wasn't coming so all the Singaporean Bieber fans would be sad.

Um okay scratch that. And yes if someone retorted with Avril not coming here I'd retort back that at least I got to see her live once before. Fair enough, yeah? I think I'd get annihilated by Beliebers(is that how you spell it??) if they ever came on here.

And like seriouslyyy. Are you trying to impress all of us with constantly saying you're writing songs? I'm not trying to be mean but honestly. If you 'can't find the words to rhyme' then you can 'repeat the words over and over'. That's why music these days suck. And yeah maybe those weren't the exact words but you know what I mean. According to your theory we can just have a song fully based on the word 'Hi'. That rhymes right? Sorryyy but that's what I really think.

Whatever man. The coming week's gonna be really exciting. Monday: rehearsals for sec 1 camp. Tuesday: Narnia or something. Wednesday: Cover with Rad. Thursday through Sunday: camp. Cool right? And maybe sleepover a while after that.

And right now there's nothing I love more than my sweetheart:


♥ Hazel.

We're neither here nor there.

There are a lot of things I'd like to say which might seem inappropriate.

Think clean and go figure.

I can't believe it's December already.. less than a month left until the proverbial DD comes. A lot's been happening lately and I can't exactly pin point the cause of it all. Now it seems like everything is set in stone and I can't change anything even if I try. I've been playing PC mystery games lately at night and I guess it's my own fault that I scare myself into thinking there's a serial murderer lurking in the shadows of my house.

And this is the best news so far- Avril's 4th record is coming out 8th March next year!! I'm so psyched for it. I kinda wish my birthday were in March instead of January. Following that thought I wish January was March and March was January. Hehe.

I love Evan on twitter. A few days ago he managed to praise Avril, indirectly @reply me, and indirectly insult Bieber with just one tweet. Spread some Evril love yeah!? I just think twitter is for stalking celebs. Lol and facebook has been bugging me non-stop to change to the new profile which looks cluttered and.. not nice. Almost everyone has changed to it.. I'll just play by myself then.

What else we got? Ohyeah. Me and Rad are posting two covers next week. I have less than a week left and I'm still not practicing 2 hours a day like I said I would. Reallyyy have to get Back to December nailed. It's all because of the freaking F note that i can't perfect. I know there's another Bm version but it doesn't sound as nice as the other one. She's in Thailand now, wonder how's it like there? haha.

I'm so exciteddd for Goodbye Lullaby. The album cover is amazing, check it:

I love it. With exception of her foot sticking out haha. I'm deifinitely going for her concert late next year, who's up for that?

♥ Hazel.

Don't you want to change?

I hate crying but it seems like this time I can't help it. I woke up this morning with sore eyes and I think I still haven't learnt my lesson because I'm crying everytime I think of next year. I'm gonna end up blind someday from this crying, I swear.

I know in about 2 years' time I will look back on this point of time and laugh it off, asking myself why I over reacted so much. The same way I look back 2 years ago and ask myself why I didn't cry when we left. I don't know why this is such a big deal to me but it is. I can't seem to get over it. I went to sleep last night thinking that when I woke up in the morning everything would be back to normal and such but the truth is that it's more real than ever and I'm gonna have to face up to it sometime.

Just not today please?

I feel ungrateful. I got the choice I wanted but I'm still unhappy. They say that if you prepare yourself for your disappointments you won't be that much let down but all that's just crap. I've been preparing myself for this since the start of this year and see where I am now? All along I knew this would be coming but somehow or other I thought I could escape it and everything would be alright.

Somehow when people say 'I've seen better' it makes me wonder whether they've truly seen better or maybe they're just jealous.

I've always been a supporter of the saying 'Ignorance is bliss' because it never lets me down. I wish you could tell me straight up whether you guys are together or not. But then at other times I realise I don't really care.

I'm going to school for two training camps that overlap each other. Cool right? I'll be back on Halloween, kids.

"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."

♥hazel

I can't decide.

It's ridiculous. I always thought I was decisive up to now. Yes or no, it seems really simple but at the same time it's really not.

I don't want to overcommit. I really don't. But how the hell am I supposed to manage everything if i'm not given a choice? The one thing I hate most is breaking promises. I never thought post exam activities could be that much more hectic than studying. Truth be told I'd rather get back to studying.

I think maybe I'll probably regret it later.

A few days ago I got a text from someone I don't really like. Slutty outfits for a church gathering? I don't think so. I would never on my life go to that not plainly because I dislike you but it's just I'd be so weirdly uncomfortable there I'd probably pass out within ten seconds of getting there. I'm just not that kind of girl.

Do you remember the cutest couple in the world
You know he was a punk and she was daddy's little girl
And graduation came and she wanted him to stay
But he had bigger better dreams waiting out in L.A
And she cried and he cried as the plane flew away
'Cause she never ever wanted it to end that way
And 2 years later she reads in the news
He'd gone on to be a big star but nobody knew
With the change of his name but his heart stayed the same
And every song he wrote was about her he claimed
And he never got to tell her 'cause he died that year
From all of the coke and the pills and the beer
And the whole world cried
But just for one day
'Cause sooner or later the pain goes away
Just another day in Suburbia
It's a beautiful day in Suburbia
Best not let it get the best of you
It is everything you thought it would be?

Isn't that a great song? Lol. Streaming results come out next Thursday. I'm not sure what to hope for but right now I'm hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

♥haze.l.

PS: YW said she likes the smell of the haze. Awesome.

I can't do this.

It's too hard.

I really really really can't. No matter how much I try to push myself , I can't. It irks me how other people can do that like it happens everyday, but when it really happens to me, which is a total of 3 times, I act like the world as ended. I just can't get up my nerve to do it.

I can't talk to you.

And all of that just really proves how much you're different from other people. And I don't think that sentence really made sense. I can't talk to you like you're an ordinary person, because to me you're not. How the hell do I make you become an ordinary person, like anyone I talk to? I've been trying for 2 whole years and it doesn't work. At this point of time I don't think it will ever work.

There's this quote that tells you to ask yourself whether the matter you're losing sleep over will matter in ten years. And the truth of the matter is I have no idea. I don't know if you'll matter in ten years because you matter a lot to me right now and I don't have the foresight to look ten years into to future, but my guess is probably not. How many things that we have right now will actually matter in ten years?

I just finished mine and my mom's climate survey for school. So yeah I wrote a lot of crap and yeah lol. Tomorrow is e-learning day. And Avril's birthday. Btw it was trending on Twitter earlier today, yay! And Avril's Twitter was hacked. It's funny to see what fame can do to you. Evan, who isn't that famous, has had his twitter for wayyy longer than Avril has, and yet no one has even attempted to hack his twitter, but in such a short span of time Avril's has been hacked. Coool.

And I haven't overlooked your attempts. I'm even more aware of them, if that could be possible, but I just don't know how to respond to them. Can someone tell me what to say and do and how to act in front of you so that I'll respond correctly? I'm so pathetic, I can't even dictate what to say and tell myself what to do. Btw the sentence before the previous one rhymed. I'm so lame.

I got in the list for the 100 free Evan stickers. Haha up to now I still can't believe it. I submitted my info like 9 hours after he posted the link, and I still got in. But it's probably all just a matter of perspective. If I were to sell them on ebay, which I will never ever ever do, no one would buy them. And my BMG shirt is overdue. Seriously.

I hate the fact that I'm sitting here waiting for you to do something, but I can't help it. Maybe I'm too sensitive, but making the first move will make me seem totally desperate, which, let's face it here- I am.

"It's amazing how I can talk about you for hours, but can never actually talk to you."

♥Hazel

You're Still An Innocent :)

Innocent is awesome.

I've been replaying it non-stop all day and I loveee it hahaha. Although when I try to find the actual footage of Swifty performing it, all I get is some people voicing out their reactions. Lame sauce.

It has been sometime since I last posted. I think I just got carried away with other things but I'll try to keep punctual. Like every week. Although the simple truth is that I got reminded to blog because of Evan's blog lol. He posted a really dark post that almost made me cry ;(

Okay so what's upp? Studying, studying and more studying. It all ends in a little more than 2 weeks though so it's not that bad. The first paper is composition for both languages on Friday. So I guess it's lucky that I just started writing a oneshot about Gale and Katniss? haha but I'm less that 3 paragraphs into it and knowing how I write, this oneshot will be long.

And random, but our class guitar's last string popped. But thanks to that I wrote a new riff on my own. No one is willing to pay to get the last string fixed for only 7 more weeks. Too bad for next year's class, they'll be stuck with that guitar for a year. And the class after that unless they fix it.

Btw, you are annoying.

& you know how you wish for something to happen and then instantly feel guilty/ashamed for that? That's basically the story of my life spanning these few weeks. I can easily imagine what I would say if he did that, but if he were to do that in real life I would be speechless and in shock. And then I tell myself it's never gonna happen, but somehow I end up back at the start again. It's a vicious cycle, really.

One last thing before this ends. We're all just emotional teenage girls in never ending crisises aren't we? Well, I don't wanna hear what you're upset about because you have everything. Literally everything. And it doesn't make me feel better to be talking to you and although it hurts, I think I'm just gonna ignore you for now. After all, you're only in on it for the company aren't you? I'll never be that close to you even if I try, and I don't wanna get hurt anymore.

♥hazel

What's uppp

Yay I'm back!

And I just finished uploading some overdue pictures in my camera. It always pays off to be the one that takes the photos because you can delete your unglams later on and post other peoples'. Hehehe. Can you say paparazzi much?

Today I went to YW's house to make teacher's day cards with Rad and Jamie. We were VERY unproductive, and I think in the end we only finished like three cards. Failll lol. We were slacking off on the computer and eating fried bee hoon and cheese tofu and drinking guava juice with egg mixed in it. hahaha.

I had bangs cut today! They look really awesome lolll. Other than that nothing much happened though.

I'm going to Sentosa tomorrow. Remember what I said in my previous post? Scratch that. I'm really excited haha. I haven't been to Sentosa/Vivo for more than a year because I have no life. >.>

& that reminds me that I haven't packed for tomorrow at all. The night is still young and I'm off to download some songs hehehe.

PS: I changed the blogskin. Pretty radd yeah?
♥hazel

I have no more excuses...

To stay away from here anymore. So first up: I gave up on the letter challenge. Surpriseee. The letters are kind of third degree and yeah. I'm a total loser.

Nexttt. So this is a warning for the coming post. I apologise if it's gonna be what you get when you're feeling down or whatever but I've been reading too much of Evan's blog lately so maybe that can explain this post. It's not dark or whatever but still I felt like I had to warn you. Here goes.

I think I'm confusing myself. One moment I think, hey, it's okay to _________ even though that happened last time. And what happened was good and it should have happened. But then an hour or so later I will start thinking, oh no, I can't do that, it's wayyy too embarrassing. So I don't know what's up with me. Did you understand that? Because I didn't lol.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I had responded differently or been more daring or less daring would things turn out differently. Or maybe if I had made an effort. Would it make a difference? Or would things just be the same?

"Losing something is easy when you have nothing." I stole that off Ev's blog. (Btw I just made my wish. 11:11.) On the contrary, I would think it's harder. Although in theory, how can you lose something when you have nothing at all? That's only proving that you once thought that you had that something, only to discover that it's not yours at all. Same with if you feel betrayed, then that only proves that there was trust in the first place. All these things just make us as about transparent as glass.

So this Sunday I'm going to Sentosa with my cell. I'm hoping it'll be fun, and I'm not saying this cynically, but it probably won't. Call me pessimist if you must. And my 11:11 wish was somehow related to that.

I wish I had something that could help me see into the future, like for example if I make a choice, I get to see what that choice will result in, or if I say something, how the other person would react. Or maybe something that can tell me how things could have turned out if I did this or if I did that, etc. But I know that's entirely impossible so I'd better stop thinking about it.

I promise I won't be like this the next time I come back.

♥hazel

HIATUS ;(

Okay so this letter thing has become more of a drag than fun for me lately. My OCDness has been pestering me to get online everyday to post my blog and usually I feel so museless and so I write out really short letters. Maybe some of you guys reading my letters have absolutely no issue with that but I kind of do haha. Maybe I expect too much of myself but whatever. &&& Exams are coming up which gives me another excuse to stay away from here. So what's gonna happen is that I'll only update this on the weekends, namely Saturday and Sunday, and possibly Friday as well. Maybe the coming Monday as well since it's National Day? We'll see. No promises because I value quantity AND quality.

♥ lots,
hazel

Day 14- Someone I Have Drifted Away From

Day 14- August 1st 2010

Dear Kae,

Hi there. It was awesome knowing you and RP-ing with you. Although the time we knew each other was kind of short, we were really good friends. I kind of suck when it comes to long distance relationships as shown. I don't know how it ended but we kind of drifted as the days went on.
So now recently I tried emailing you and such but either you don't remember who I am or you aren't using that email account anymore. Or maybe you just don't go online anymore. It's been what, 2 years since we last talked and I kind of miss that tbh haha.

I miss you.

♥hazel

Day 13- A Person I Wish Could Forgive Me

Day 13- 31st July 2010

Hi there,

First of all, I just wanna tell you I'm really sorry. It was a misunderstanding at that point of time but I never got to tell you that before you left. Believe me, if I could go back in time and change what I did I will.
I've been friends with you for the longest time, longer than anyone else. I still can't believe that we let something as minor as that come between our six years of friendship. I can't tell you I'm sorry because I'm completely out of touch with you. I just hope that maybe you will stumble across this blog one day and read all of this. The odds are kind of stacked against that but whatever.

I'm sorry.

♥hazel

Day 12- The Person I Hate The Most

Day 12- July 30th 2010

Yeah I know my letters have been short lately so today I'm gonna make up for it by writing two letters for the same day. Here goes.

Hi stranger.

To be honest, I think I never really forgived you. I find it hard to believe that we were once best friends a long time ago and that I really trusted you back then. You made me believe in everything you said and you lied to me. I hate you for that. Worst of all I found out only a long while later that you were just a backstabbing bitch out to get me for nothing. I always thought you were on my side but it turns out that you were working behind the scenes all along.

I was naive enough to believe you and to turn on one of my best friends and because of you, we're not on that good terms anymore. You surely didn't show any shame or remorse at all when I called you out for all your lies, and personally I don't think you're capable of any of that. I hate myself most of all for letting myself believe you and being so gullible. I always thought you were that innocent little girl but it turned out differently. I don't know where you are right now and if you even remember me but I hope you're guilty for what you did.

♥hazel

The Person That Caused Me The Most Pain

Dear _____,

This is fucking ironic and I feel pathetic. I just wrote about you a week ago and now I'm writing about you again, this time from a whole different perspective.

To begin, I don't hate you, rather the opposite and I can't help myself. You made me cry countless of times with the things that you did and the worst thing is that you don't even know that. I wish I could tell you and let you know about the many things that you did that hurt me but I can't. And I don't want to seem like a whiny person because I'm not.

Sometimes when I'm fully down to earth and facing reality, I tell myself that we will never be together. But then when that happens, you do something that makes me think otherwise and make me go off into dreamland where I think anything is possible. Maybe you're doing it on purpose but I think that's entirely impossible. And then you do something that makes me fall back down into harsh reality again and the cycle repeats.

I have to admit that one of my friends know about this and she hates you for what you did/are doing to me. I don't know if she's on the right track for hating you, because I can't bring myself to hate you or forget you no matter how hard I try. Even after a year of no contact, when I see you, I'm just back to square one again. So thanks.

♥hazel

Day 11- A Deceased Person I Wish I Could Talk To

Day 11- July 29th 2010

Hi.

I think I feel sort of like a jinx because you died the day when I was born. I know it probably has nothing to do with me at all but still. I never got to know you as well as I'd like to but the fact that rarely anyone gets to know their great grandparents comforts me. My parents keep talking about how your cooking rocks and how you were such a nice person overall. And I don't even know your name. How suckish is that? & LOL my mom said you made me a blanket and I still keep it hehe. It's still in my room.
So basically I wish I knew you and had the chance to talk to you.

♥hazel

Day 10- Someone You Don't Talk To Much

Day 10- July 28 2010

Hi,

So I know ever since two years ago we haven't been talking much, but I wanna tell you that you've been an awesome friend. I'm a personal witness to this. You provide assistance whenever someone in our group needs it and you're always there whenver someone needs you. In group work I can always count on you to get things done and to get the rest of the group to co-operate and thanks a lot for doing that. We don't talk as much as I'd like us to talk but for now it's improving, so yay. I don't know if I'll still be in the same class as you next year and I possibly doubt so, but I hope we keep in touch.

♥ hazel

Day 9- Someone I Wish I Could Meet

Day 9- July 26th 2010

Dear someone,

This is gonna be pretty lame because I'm writing to a celebrity. Bear with me.

Hi. I know you came here already in 2008 and I think everyone would laugh if they knew I had withdrawal symptoms (MINOR ones) after you left. Well, they sort of do now. I'm jealous everytime I look at pictures other fans have with you so yeah haha. It's pretty pathetic of me to say that I don't have any of your CDs(legit ones) and have only been to one tour but still. SCHEDULE A MEET AND GREET PLEASE??? I would be so happy if you did. & do us a favour and hurry with the record.

♥ hazel

Day 8- Internet Friend

Day 8- July 25th 2010

Hi best internet friend!

Lol wow. It's really hard to say what would and what wouldn't have happened if I hadn't met you. & when I think back to that time, it totally wouldn't have happened if something I wished for so badly were to happen. Did that make sense? Lolll. & I really appreciate you more than you'd ever know.
And thanks for helping me with him (haha). Even though it didn't work out as we wanted to? It's hard to exactly describe our friendship and I get confused by the complexity of it sometimes. But maybe it's best just to let it be and see how things turn out.
One of the reasons that I'm thankful for you is that you're as crazy as I am about two certain people! It's pretty hard to find someone that matches up because if I talk to anyone else about it then they'd go crazy of boredom. So thanks =)
I love talking to you because you are awesomeee. Simple as that.
So I know it seems as if we're all fun and jokes but under that all I hope there's something else?

♥hazel

Day 7- Ex Crush

Day 7- July 24th 2010

Dear ex crush,

I didn't stop liking you because you did something wrong or whatever. To be honest, you were just a fling and I had a good run. It was fun while it lasted and yeah. I feel impossibly stupid right now just for liking you and even thinking we had a chance but oh well. It must be what they call a moment of insanity. For me it was more like 2 weeks of insanity so yeah. But no damage done so all's well. I... don't really have anything else to say to you so.. thanks?

♥hazel

Day 6- A Stranger

Day 6- July 23rd 2010

Hi stranger,

Mommy told me not to talk to strangers. JK. Hi, what's going on? I don't really know what to say to you except... the weather sure is hottt! Haha. Have a nice day.

♥hazel

Day 5- My Dreams

Day 5- July 22nd 2010

Dear dreams,

Hi there, it's your person here. You're everything I'm not, and well, let's thank our lucky stars that you're not a real person. If not, you'd be the one and only perfect person on this earth. You persuade me to chase things that are either entirely impossible or partially impossible. A lot of the time you frustrate me because whatever you made me achieve is totally unattainable. Maybe I expect a lot of myself and I'm just confusing you with my expectations but you're still to blame. And yet I have to thank you at the same time because you push me toward my goals and make me perservere in whatever I do. There have been some instances that you came true though and I'm thoroughly thankful for that.

So keep doing what you do best.

♥hazel

Day 4- A Close Relative

Day 4- July 21 2010

Dear close relative,

Well I don't have a sibling so I decided I'd write to you instead. So you've a pretty cool aunt to me. Everytime you go overseas to a new country you'll bring back souvenirs from that country for me and it's pretty cool haha. I love your stories as well, though that makes me sound like a five year old kid. I think I'm the closest to you as compared to my other relatives. I can talk to you about anything at all and yet not feel like you're gonna scold me or something so that's good. So close is not really like close close if you know what I mean so I don't really know what else to write haha. So thanks for being my aunt =)

♥hazel

Day 3- My Parents

Day 3- July 20th 2010

Hi Daddy and Mommy (haha this sounds so innocent)

So this is from your little girl. Thanks for always being there for me and providing for me no matter what the circumstances are. I know you probably won't ever read this but I wanna thank you for everything you've ever done for me. Thanks Dad for making all those lame jokes to cheer me up when I was feeling low or simply just PMSing haha. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to tutor me in Math or whatever subject I had problems with. & I know we pretty much go crazy together when it comes to computer games but that's the fun of it. Hardly you see any daughter crazy over computer games so appreciate it! JK.

Thanks Mom for being there when I needed to talk and for pushing me so hard in my studies. Maybe sometimes I resent that but in the end it always turns out well. I know you worry about me a lot and I appreciate your concern over me all these years. Thank you for putting up with my tantrums every now and then and tolerating me to the best that you can.

Thank you both for whatever you've done for me since I was born, which I know is a lot. I really appreciate that and can't thank you enough. I love the both of you.

♥hazel

Day 2- My Crush

Day 2- July 19 2010.

Hi my crush,

When someone asks me why I like you I can't find a reason. Maybe I don't need a reason? It's hard to exactly describe why I like you but I'm gonna try. Even though some people I know are utterly convinced you are the worst person on earth. Here goes.
Baseddd on stalking, we pretty much have the same taste in music(I think) and that's cool since music is kinda a big part of my life. & you're different from the others. Let's face it, I don't know about your family financially(I probably don't know anything about you) but what I do know is that you don't flaunt your financial status around like some others do. You're a pretty sweet person in real life as I've experienced through some events I'm not gonna state publicly. & while you're not like supermodel cute, I'm not either so you're good enough for me =) You don't think everyone's beneath you either like some people I'm not gonna mention here.
Okay so I think that basically sums it up. If you're reading this, whoever you are and thinking, wow this girl is such a bitch, she only likes her guy for a number of reasons, whatever. I don't really know how to wear my heart on a sleeve on a blog like this so yeah. Yup, that's all for now.

♥hazel

Happiness is simple.

Day 1- July 18 2010.

Hi my best friend(s),

You guys are really awesome and I don't think I'd be where I am without you. Even though we have our fights and such, I still consider you all to be my lifeline. You were there for me when I was down and while I understand I haven't been perfect, thank you for tolerating all my antics haha. I can tell most of you anything and still feel comfortable and I'm really thankful for that. Same goes vice versa. Some of you guys can really tell what I'm feeling without me telling you and maybe that's just me being transparent but whatever. You don't just tell me what I want to hear but what's best for me and I love you for that. Maybe I don't appreciate you guys enough sometimes but this post goes to you for just exsisting. Love you all ♥

"Friendship isn't about how long you've known that person, it's about how long that person has stuck with you."

♥hazel

You are the only exception.

Finally I'm blogging again. And it's a Monday night.

Anyway. I had fun last last (LOL) Monday going out with Radiant, Jamie, Sarah and Stella. We watched Karate Kid and poor Stella was left to watch Eclipse on her own lol. But she didn't really mind so yeah. After that we took neo prints! I am sad to admit that I have no life and thus have never taken a neo print before and it was my first time hahaha. We rushed like maddd to get into the frame before the camera went off and I must say it was really something haha. I had one picture where I was looking somewhere else and so we had to cover my face with a cat lolol.

Other than that the week was pretty boring. The first week of school was tough though. & I have to wear my full uniform on Wednesday so that sucks a lot. && I have to go attend flag day this Sunday so ;(

PS: I'm gonna try to accomplish this challenge DAILY, WITHOUT BREAK. (depending on when I start hahaha)


write a letter to these people :
day 1 — your best friend
day 2 — your crush
day 3 — your parents
day 4 — your sibling (or closest relative)
day 5 — your dreams
day 6 — a stranger
day 7 — your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
day 8 — your favorite internet friend
day 9 — someone you wish you could meet
day 10 — someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
day 11 — a deceased person you wish you could talk to
day 12 — the person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
day 13 — someone you wish could forgive you
day 14 — someone you’ve drifted away from
day 15 — the person you miss the most
day 16 — someone that’s not in your state/country
day 17 — someone from your childhood
day 18 — the person that you wish you could be
day 19 — someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
day 20 — the one that broke your heart the hardest
day 21 — someone you judged by their first impression
day 22 — someone you want to give a second chance to
day 23 — the last person you kissed
day 24 — the person that gave you your favorite memory
day 25 — the person you know that is going through the worst of times
day 26 — the last person you made a pinky promise to
day 27 — the friendliest person you knew for only one day
day 28 — someone that changed your life
day 29 — the person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
day 30 — your reflection in the mirror

<3 hazel
PPS Which month has exactly 30 days??

You have more faces than a world clock.

I haven't blogged in a long while.
This week I slacked off a lot haha. On Tuesday I went to Pasir Ris park with Sarah but we couldn't skate because it was raining so heavily. So we adjourned to White Sands Mall and wasted money at the arcade hahaha. Then we got manis and pedis. Pretty cool stuff. Although I need to remove my nail polish in a week. ;(

Then on Friday I went to watch Nanny McPhee with Jamie and Radiant. We got free tickets because Radiants uncle was working at the ticketing booth! How awesome is that? Although we bought the wrong time and so missed fifteen minutes of the movie waiting for Jamie. But the fifteen minutes of that were just advertisments. So kids, always arrive for a movie fifteen minutes late. JK.

Btw the timing of this blog thing is screwed. I WON'T wake up at 7 in the morning just to blog, tyvm, blogger.

So this next week will be the last week of holidays. How saddd. The first week of school is only like, Monday and Tuesday though, and Wednesday to Friday will be the Sec 2 camp. I'm exciteddd!

♥ hazel

If you don't give us a chance

You won't exactly earn a grant.

Evan could be the next Draco Malfoy for the next HP movie. He's wayyy cuter than the current one hahhaa.
Except the thought of him with Hermione and on a broomstick waving a wand is kind of gross, so no. Wellll except if Avril is playing Hermione.
Hahaha wow it's amazing how random I am. Let's just forget about all that and move on.

When I came back from camp I was so tired that I slept for like 5 hours straight haha. And I spent the whole of that Sunday lazing around. I woke up for the live stream again today (can't call it uStream anymore since it's on justin.tv) and yayyy my question got picked.

Today I went to Sarah's house to do some board game project thing for English and we got prettyyy far, I hope lol. We didn't take any pics or anything, though Stella took a few pictures that I'll have to pester her to post them later. Orrr maybe tomorrow.

I just looked at the clock and it's 11:11PM. My wish is made hahaha.

I think I'm going to get my nails done this week!! Yay. French manis rock, kids haha. I STILL haven't made any changes to this blog but I'll get to that soon lol. In a week or two maybe. <.< ♥hazel

Please don't lose your magic.

'Cause the third time's the charm.

Okay so, my CCA camp starts tomorrow and ends on Sunday. I've already packed and everything, but I'm so depressed. Even Evan(try saying that really fast) on repeat doesn't seem to help. I can't wait to get back and start the JUNE HOLZ, KIDZ. In style, for real.

My Messenger is cracked and even though I can sign in, I can't receive any messages. Which is lame. I don't know when that will be fixed but hopefully it will be okay when I get back Sunday. And my mom went to see my teachers today and she didn't really say anything about it to me so I think it's okay. I hope? Let's just say if it wasn't, there would be a lot more noise around here.

I'm so bored because I'm just sitting in front of my computer typing this haha. Although, that won't really be the case for the next three days or so. And LOL! I just figured out how to distinguish the bridge in Razorblade Limeade. Evan sings like almost dual phrases at the same time so while taking out one earphone and leaving the other in you can hear one side and vice versa. Okay well, that probably didn't make sense so whatever haha. That's the result of boredom.

My posts have been so short lately and I don't know why haha. I don't even think anyone reads this. IF you're reading this, I apologise for ranting on.

Can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me.

♥hazel

You don't make me perfect

...but you make me smile.

Zoo CIP trip was really awesome haha. Me and Sarah got a boy this time and he was really cute. At least he talked some during the trip and didn't let us do all the talking. I think he kinda hates me though because I kept deserting him and Sarah to take pictures hahaha. Oh well. To be fair, he was pretty amazed with the pics I took.
What's up with kids these days? They don't like sweets like how I used to (still do)when I was young. I can't imagine childhood without sweets, but whatever haha. & I couldn't buy Ev's record on iTunes because apparently Singapore iTunes doesn't sell music. How lameee. At least my friend is gonna be sending me an Evan guitar pick, so all's good =)
Anddd, the upcoming week is only gonna be two days long! Although my CCA camp starts on Friday and ends on Sunday so ughhh. Monday & Wednesdays are slack days so yayyy. It's like :D but D: hahaha. Lame me.
My phone has a bunch of very unorganised songs all over the place. I've been meaning to organise them someday but I keep procrastinating haha. OCD and procrastination? Not a very good combo. And the other day I tried to do a list for the holiday homework that we have and I succeeded! Yay me. Lists are my number 1 favourite thing hahaha.
♥ Your OCD freak,
hazel

We're [not] breaking, we're just [not] making it through.

I didn't fall off, and so I have to wake up at 4.30AM today.
No, I'm not obliged to but I want to haha. Anyway today I rode Speargrass! Yayyy he's this really cute chestnut with white socks. He's pretty small but don't misjudge his strength. Such an adorable boy haha. He almost bucked me off but I still love him to bits hahaha. I'm so pathetic.
Let's see... today I went to church and I left early haha. Pardon me, but small group is kind of lame. Can you guess why? Haha Hilary called Grace to see where we were and she panicked. It was really funny since we were at the lobby skipping small group. Yup, how holy we are.
I still can't believe I'm gonna wake up at 4.30AM today. Insane? Haha I guess listening to Mr Taubenfeld on repeat at 2AM isn't that sane either. And his album is coming out this Wednesday! I'm exciteddd haha. I'm such a HARDCORE fan. Righttt.
We're going to the zoo this Friday lol. Little kids again. Some of them are pretty cute, though they don't say a word throughout the duration of the trip. Which makes it pretty awkward. It's the last one before we complete CIP, so man up everyone! Hahaha.
♥hazel

There were so many flavours I wanted to taste.

But you got me hooked.
Yeah well, I haven't seen you in while either, mister. Do I miss you?
Yeppp, this week is passing really slowly haha. OBS people are gone, that leaves 28 people around and manyyy empty seats haha. Today while walking to school I saw this doll on the floor and I freaked out hahaha. I can still see the purplish bruise like thing on its face and it haunts me LOL. Such an irrational fear, I know.
PC games rock, son. I finish one in about two days so it's an entire waste of money to get them for me haha. Oh well. And YAYYY my dad agreed to get Ev's record on iTunes for me so that's good. It's like ten bucks converted but it will be worth it. Although there are only like, two songs we haven't heard the studio version of but never mind =D The banks of the world can relax hahaha ;)
By the way, my FB is showing up in some weird format so I keep closing and opening it but it's still like that. The font is like COMIC SANish and I can't stand that font hahaha. I know I'm random but it just irks me.
Yessss yesterday Ms Regina Lim, the hilarious relief teacher came in for history. GOSH I started laughing the moment she came in. She can make anyone laugh and she doesn't know that. I don't think she makes us laugh on purpose but whatever haha. She gave us chocolate and was overconcerning herself that everyone got a piece (!!!!) I swear I can't look her in the face without laughing. She will say hello to anyone that walks past her. Once I saw her at the bustop and she was like waving to me enthusiastically.
Ughhh. I swear you could be a little bit more obvious? I might die if this carries on.
♥Hazel

Finally =)

Yayyy CTs are finally over. Studying all day and night just drove me crazy haha. I think I messed up like, most of my papers but the good thing is that they're only gonna return them in a week from now.
I'm aware that my blog is really pathetic. Which is sad, because a few years back I knew how to work the HTML code things. Now I've completely forgotten them LOL. By the way, Evan didn't post his blog last week so I'm not TARDY hahaha.
Next week is MEGA camp! I'm not going, but almost half my class will be. It's for five days in Pulau Ubin where there's no internet connection or any kind of signal at all. Good luck, kids, you're gonna need it haha. Thank God I'm not going since I won't last long because I'm still sick. I know someone that fell sick yesterday and she's going for the camp. She passed her doctor's physical, though. It's like compulsory anyway.
I skipped CCA yesterday! Haha cheap thrills, everyone. I heart MCs and doctors that give them from now on. Yup. I still stayed back in school to help Radiant do IDPW. I think our presentation is due the week after next. Our product's almost done, fingers crossed that we can get everything done on time =)
Ugh seriously, the world is biased. At least Evan is. His record's only coming out on iTunes May 18th, and I don't have that. And I reallyyy want the signed guitar pick and sticker he's sending to those who get his record within 24hrs after it comes out. My only hope now is to bribe my dad into getting it on his iPhone hahaha.
Avril's twitter is so cute, go follow her. I know I did ;)
♥Hazel

The world is quiet here.

Yeah well, it isn't actually haha. It's pretty noisy. I can hear the televison blaring outside and my music is hardly what you'd call a comfortable volume. Exams are coming, kids, and studying is so tiring =(

Yuppp the absence of CCA stand down is really lame. Last year they used to stop all CCA like, two weeks before the start of CTs, but this year it's gonna go on all year. And skipping CCA to study isn't a valid reason. Surprise, surprise.

I almost played guitar for my CCA last Friday but I had to skip it because of some lame test thing haha. And my next slot is only like, 2 weeks from now? Oh well haha. We have another lit test thing on Tuesday and one of it's main points is on juxtaposition. I'm a lost cause when it comes to that so yeah.

Recently, in the last month or so, I've had more than a few people in my class ask me if I still learn Japanese. I used to last year but I quit this year. I just didn't feel that it would be really that relavant to me. What's more, this year is streaming yearrrrr. I know people who take this just to go to Japan and I seriously don't see why they should do that. Japan is overrated, I don't see what's so good about it.

Haha the person I've had a crush on for about a year or so is still online. I can't help noticing that and I know I'm so pathetic hahaha. He usually doesn't stay online long, I'll tell you that. Happy guessing =)

"If those were the best years of our lives, why did we feel so caged?"

♥Hazel

PS: Can you believe I actually had to copy and paste that heart shape? My lame laptop doesn't allow for shapes like that haha.